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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27728381">Mutton Chops And Other Things Happened In The Afterlife</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lightwhathouse/pseuds/Lightwhathouse'>Lightwhathouse</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5x5 blocks challenge mentioned, Afterlife, Facial Shaving, Flirting, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Ghostbur, M/M, Mentions of memory loss, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Platonic Relationships, Post-Manberg-Pogtopia War on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), SMPlive event mentioned, Schlatt is beautiful, Slightly Cursing, reality based, water level rising video mentioned</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:48:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,955</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27728381</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lightwhathouse/pseuds/Lightwhathouse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p> Ghostbur helped Ghost Schlatt shave.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jschlatt &amp; Wilbur Soot, Jschlatt/Wilbur Soot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>386</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Mutton Chops And Other Things Happened In The Afterlife</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I interpret the relationship in a strictly Platonic way, but you can also say that they're lovers. The boundary is unclear so be aware of that.<br/>The characters of Wilbur and Schlatt are from the Dream SMP but also combined their past interactions. It may let some people feel like I'm shipping real people so also be aware of that.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Schlatt was not an old man. Ghostbur had been following him for three days, and this was his conclusion. He can vaguely remember before, when Schlatt was also alive, always in suit and tie, having the dry sand-like voice and the lush mutton chops, he did look like a man in his forties. For the present, as both of them fell into the endless abyss of death, age seemed no longer able to be disguised. Schlatt, right now, was wearing a puffy baby blue jumper that could only appear on children.</p><p> </p><p>Ghostbur thought hard. As he said, he remembered all the good stuff in his previous life, and recalling the furthest memory of his time spent with Schlatt, without anyone else, wouldn’t be hard. He remembered the small space they had once crammed in together, they planted trees and tamed a dog. That time, when he was still Wilbur, and just Wilbur, he had named every single thing in their world, and Schlatt always reacted to them, annoyed or amused as if they were really special, worthy to make fun with. “ ‘Tre?’ ” Schlatt read the name he put on the sign on the tree trunk, eyebrows raised, pretty surprised. The short silly syllable made just hit his heart for no reason, and he laughed hard. Then, when they got another tree fully grown, he named it “Tred”.</p><p> </p><p>He remembered them talking about climate change, make dirty or dark jokes as the water level slowly rising to take over their place. “Global warming does not exist.” Schlatt said convincingly. The house they built was freezing inside for there was an AC made from mountain snow working even though water was already above the ceiling, but Schlatt insisted that they must occupy separate rooms, “No gay.” He hit Wilbur with a wooden axe, who was wailing to come in, even though clearly horrified by the fact that they were slowly dying because the water was going everywhere. Wilbur had a bold nature, he tried to swim up, looking for higher lands to move to, and for once, determined to live off on himself and not to take care of Schlatt. In the end, however, he had to swim down, step over to the other side of the house to give Schlatt a hug because he looked terrible.</p><p> </p><p>And also, the time when Schlatt was giving a speech in front of lots of people, in a spacious auditorium. “I’ve spent the last four years looking for the murder of my ex-girl friend. ” he said, without the slightest shake in his voice, and everyone, including him, burst into hysterical roar of laughter.</p><p> </p><p>And then... as Schlatt became more of a businessman, more of a publicly known figure instead of his close friend, the face of his, as well as his iconic horns, slowly faded. He can not remember how Schlatt came to L’manburg, nor how Schlatt became the second president of the country. Tommy described how him was invited as Wilbur’s friend to be a sponsor of Pog2020 and ended up introducing his own presidential party, which technically, should make the initial part of the memory present for him, before everything went wrong. He had no idea why it’s not working out.</p><p> </p><p>“Y’know, Schlatt was just a senile old man who was alcoholic and addicted to ... I dunno, drugs and shit.” The boy shook his head, “Yeah, it’s a good thing that you don’t know him any more, after all, he banished us, Wil. He’s the bad guy, everyone disliked him.”</p><p> </p><p>Other L’manburians, provided information not much different. Therefore, Schlatt was just a name blurry and remote to him, turning invisible within each second, just like themselves now, after their death.</p><p> </p><p>Now. For now, Schlatt was apparently in a good mood for no apparent reason to Ghostbur. The hybrid ram in his comfy jumper, was chilling in the middle of a flower field, with dandelions, poppies, daises and lilies. He wore a soft smile, eyes closed as the slanting sunshine galvanized part of his face, made his eyelashes glittering.</p><p> </p><p>“He died of a heart attack.” Tommy said that, and it appeared to him to be the least relatable thing that could happen to Schlatt. </p><p> </p><p>Ghostbur could not help but walk towards him, stepping into the flowers. “Hey Schlatt.” He bent down towards him, dulling the lights above, his voice almost a whisper.</p><p> </p><p>Schlatt turned around. He was not surprised to see the Ghost, and even kind of happy to see him. “Oh hi Wilbur!” The lower one replied cheerfully.</p><p> </p><p>He sat down beside his friend. Time did pass slow for the living deads, sun seems too bright and could burn their skin, all the colours too vivid for them were making him dizzy.</p><p> </p><p>“How’re you doing, my pretty princess?”</p><p> </p><p>He reached out to touch Schlatt’s cheek bone, felt the lush beard. The ram, hated such pet name all the time, frowned at the unnecessary intimacy between them yet did not oppose to his movement.</p><p> </p><p>“Just sitting here, doing nothing. My day has been fine, after my death I don’t feel like drinking any more.”</p><p> </p><p>“I see. So you are not a drunkard and a drug addict now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>The breeze caressed their hair, all the flowers swayed. For a moment, Ghostbur felt like he was alive again, not as the first president of L’manburg Wilbur Soot, but long before that, just himself, just Wilbur.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve been thinking, how about shaving your face, Schlatt?” he asked, “There’s no need to pretend to be a big ol’ man now, I like you better when your face is clean without the mutton chops.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why? I see no point getting rid of my facial hair.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll see, Schlatt.” Ghostbur chuckled, “I’ll show you what’s so interesting in shaving the beard after you’re done. After all, you are dead as me...y’know what?” he suddenly changed his mind as he stood up, grabbing Schlatt’s arm, “Actually, Schlatt, I’m gonna help you shave, I’m gonna make you shave so there’s no way for you to get away with it.”</p><p> </p><p>“What? Wilbur?” Schlatt confusingly staggered a step or two, as clumsy as ever, “Don’t you dare make me...” he quickly stopped there because the two of them can’t help but burst into laughing, both instantaneously recalled the same memory they shared, in the good times, and shaving seemed much less an important topic. Seriously, who would even care about their appearance once they’ve already dead and forgotten? Whether they were the traitor or the sinner, it doesn’t matter any more. As ghosts, they could finally say whatever they want to say and do whatever they want to do, without worrying about anything else, because the burdens had already gone like a whiff of smoke with their lives. Welcome to the afterlife.</p><p> </p><p>They sat by the riverside, Ghostbur borrowed a can of shaving cream from the people (he had no idea why it still works for the ghosts), and a clean towel.</p><p> </p><p>“You are the one who came up with the idea of shaving. I’m not doing anything to help, even it’s my face.”Schlatt declared. Ghostbur just scoffed. “Close your eyes. We’re going to get rid of all of your facial hair, just be aware of that.” he covered the wet towel on the small face, “I can not get any warm water for you, keep that piece of saturated cloth on for ten more minutes. ”</p><p> </p><p>“Wilbur, you sound like I have never fucking shaved in my entire life.”Schlatt spoke with a muffled voice under the towel.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I’m the one who’s taking the responsibility here. Even ghosts won’t feel pain, I still want to avoid the possibility of your lovely face getting cut.” he giggled and started making foams out of the shaving cream. Of course, as a man, he knew exactly how to shave for himself. For others, on the other hand, sounds a bit more challenging, especially if the one you are shaving for is a hybrid of human and sheep.</p><p> </p><p>After Schlatt’s face got properly soaked, Ghostbur got off the towel, applied the foams on his cheekbones, gently rubbing through his chin line to his jaw. He could feel light clouds sliding around his fingertips so soft like a baby’s skin, or cream on cakes. Schlatt’s woolly hair was making tiny rustling sounds under his massage, and the ram himself, with half of the face covered in bubbles, only a pair of large flickering eyes with slit pupils in sight, looked funny yet kinda cute. There was no way he can deny that. The familiar face was presented in front of him in such a peaceful way, without a single word between them.</p><p> </p><p>“Will?” Schlatt asked, noticing the abnormally long silence, “What are you thinking about?”</p><p> </p><p>“Everything.” he replied with an affectionate smile.</p><p> </p><p>It all felt so real. The flowing stream with waves splashing on rocks, the fresh oxygen produced by the forest, the warmth of the other one’s skin when he touches ... everything felt so real. So real and surreal that he could cry.</p><p> </p><p>Death had softened the hatred between them, as if it never exist. <em>We really had been through quite a lot.</em> He thought.</p><p> </p><p>“Wilbur. You look so fucking stupid right now, with that face.”Schlatt gave him a shrug.</p><p> </p><p>“I do, I do. People said that my stupidity has grown after I died.”</p><p> </p><p>He carefully shaved the face with a razor blade, tracing the growth of the beard, then backwards. It was like mowing the lawn. The hair root got cut, and as he bent down Schlatt’s head and washed his face with a towel, brown hair fell into the water and flowed away, down with the stream. He rinsed all the foams away, dried the towel, then wiped the face again.</p><p> </p><p>“There you go, nice and clean! ”</p><p> </p><p>Schlatt looked into the water surface as Ghostbur looked at him. Without the mutton chops, he was a man not much over his twentieth, with thin lips and bare cheeks, and barely held any deterrence. Even the softest person on this world could call him a softy. No wonder why he once kept the beard for so long.</p><p> </p><p>The memory, once almost lost, came back all of a sudden in Ghostbur’s mind like tides following the rise of the moon. How this very face smiled at him, how then, his own heart overflown, fulfilled with happiness.</p><p> </p><p><em>Schlatt ... my love, my pretty princess. </em>He said, laugh rocking and colliding so hard in his chest that it hurts like there was no tomorrow. It was bittersweet. The memory he shared with Schlatt always tasted bittersweet. That’s why the memory was blurry, but not lost.</p><p> </p><p>“So what’s the surprise you want to tell me, Wilbur?”Schlatt asked.</p><p> </p><p>He got closer to the ram, whispered, “Don’t you see? We have the same face. We are like the same person, we share our dark humour, we always have the same interest, we argued yet when we collaborated, we did so well, and as what I’ve known, we all got betrayed by our people, our destinies ended in the same way ... You’re like my other half, Schlatt, you are the American me, I’m the British you. Look at our reflections in the water, Schlatt, don’t we look the same?”</p><p> </p><p>Schlatt, closely examined his own new face, agreed with him, “We do, Wilbur, we do.” They got so close to each other, they can feel the other one’s breath on their faces and heard their heartbeats. He stared into Ghostbur’s eyes, slowly broke into a smile. It was like the whole world’s shining.</p><p> </p><p>“What, are we going to kiss now?”</p><p> </p><p>Wilbur, now Ghostbur, again, started laughing hard. “No, maybe not today, Schlatt.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay but ... can we?”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Kudos and comments are appreciated!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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